The Middle of Moving On
It’s been a while.
I wish I could say I’ve been too busy, or traveling, or just living life. But the truth is, I’ve been trying to survive a storm. One that I finally realized- might be impossible to survive while staying where I am.
A storm where the only way through… is to move on. Not because I want to. Because I have to.
I realized something recently that cut deep:
I spend hours, no—days, worrying about disappointing a system and people who continually disappoint me.
I worry about being kind. Being nice. Doing more. Proving I can handle it. Proving I’m worth it. And for what?
Because every time I get close, the bar moves. New standards. New expectations. New reasons why “not yet.”
I used to think it was about working harder, proving more, being better. But I finally realized: the bar wasn’t moving because I wasn’t reaching it. The bar was moving to keep me reaching.
Moving on. Two words that feel impossible and necessary at the same time. I don’t know what it looks like yet. I don’t have a plan.
I’m in the middle of this. Not at the beginning anymore. Not at the end yet. Just stuck in the uncomfortable, terrifying, messy middle where you know you can’t go back but you don’t know what’s ahead.
It’s hard. It’s heavy. And some days I don’t know if I’m strong enough to get through it. But I’m trying. Because staying is no longer an option. Not if I want to survive with any piece of myself left.
If you’re reading this and you’re in your own storm—your own impossible situation where you’re trying to hold on but you’re drowning…I see you.
Maybe you’re also spending hours worrying about disappointing people who’ve already disappointed you.
Maybe you’re also giving everything and the bar keeps moving.
Maybe you’re also realizing that moving on is the only way forward, even though it’s terrifying.
You’re not alone.
And moving on doesn’t mean you failed. It means you finally stopped chasing a finish line that was never meant for you to cross.
I don’t know where this goes. I’m figuring it out as I go. I’m moving on. From what? To where? I’ll tell you when I know.
For now, I’m just in the middle. Surviving the storm. Trying to choose me for once.
Moving On. Middle. Because sometimes you need two M Words to explain where you are.
Thanks for still being here. For reading. For staying. The best is yet to come. Of this I am certain.